Wednesday, October 19, 2011

John Cusack holding a boombox. That's what I want!

The other night, I was taking the sweet two year-old that I babysit home to her mom. On my way home I just really started thinking about life. I sat in my car, in my driveway, and cried and prayed. I'm not an extremely religious person, but I do believe there is a God out there. I believe that He wants the best for me, and that lately I've totally ignored him and taken my own path in life. I've been extremely lonely and discouraged. But, I have to say, it's comforting to me to know that I'm not alone. Even if I'm physically alone, God is always there. I guess this is part of my journey to realizing that it's ok to be alone. The holidays are coming up, which are always depressing to me when I'm single. And I better have a date to my sister's wedding! But if I don't I'l have my family.

On to happier topics!

So, I was supposed to have a date this past Saturday. I relaxed most of the day and watched tv. Finally, got my butt out of bed to get ready and decided to go see Contagion by myself, since none of my friends wanted to go. It was good! Anyway, I was supposed to meet up with.. we'll call him airport guy, since that's where he works, at about 10:30. I got out of the movie at 9:35 and had just received a text from him saying that he's sorry but he was really tired and would rather meet up when he's more lively.

I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit pissed! He waited till the absolute last minute to cancel. Whereas, I'd been ready since about 7. I told him it was fine, no problem. In my head, I was thinking that this was a blowoff and there probably wouldn't ever be a date. I went to Target and bought Gossip Girl season 4 on dvd and picked up taco bell on my way home.

I watched Gossip Girl in bed till about 2am when I got a text. It was from airport guy, seeing if I was still awake. I responded that I was and he called me. We talked for about 2 hours. The conversation flowed well and I decided that maybe there would be a date after all.

We're supposed to meet tomorrow night. I'm not holding my breath, but I do hope we get to go out because we have a lot in common. I've already made it clear to him that I'm looking for something long term and that I'm not getting physical with anyone until feelings are involved.

I feel like that's a lot of the problem with online dating. Trying to decipher which ones are really looking for the right girl and which ones are looking for just sex. For example, the engineer, I'm pretty sure is looking for purely something physical. I haven't completely cut off communication with him, but most of the texts he sends are "I'm horny", "Come over", "My bed is lonely". Ok dude, I get it, you want someone in your bed. But after only one date with me, it's not happening! Dating shouldn't go from one date to sex. Especially, when he didn't even pay for the date.

I'm starving for some romance and chivalry, people! Women are all prizes and should be treated so (ok maybe not ALL, but most of us). I'm not asking for anything crazy. Plan a date, and offer to pick me up and I'll be impressed. I'd like to be chased and have someone work for me. It's partly my fault though for not letting the chasing happen and being too available.

I swear, I would marry the man that did this for me. I'm not even kidding.

I'm all for cheesy romance like that.

Anyway, I went to my weigh-in on Monday and I had gained 1.4lbs. I wasn't at all surprised. I'd eaten crap all week, but I'm doing great this week so I'm hoping for a loss.

Everybody cross their fingers that I'll get to meet airport guy tomorrow haha. Now go out and find you some romance!

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