Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I effed up with Apple Guy..

Bear with me. This post may be all over the place.

Ok, so this past Saturday, I went over to Apple Guy's apartment and made sangria for us to drink before going to his roommate's concert. I had three glasses and was feeling good. He drove us there, and we got there and I met up with my best friend, Kelly and her husband. He went and chatted with his friends. His roommate's band did absolutely amazing! By the time they left the stage, I was drunkity drunk. I think I'd had 4 drinks and 2 shots. Kelly and I decided to sit down between bands and drink some water.

As a single woman in her twenties, I have a bad habit of texting inappropriate things to boys. Whether they're guy friends or ex-f buddies. I know, I know, bad Brittany. Please tell me I'm not the only one? Please notice I said, As a single woman, because that's what I am. And no, I don't text random boys when I'm in a relationship.

Anyways... I just wanted to explain that. Back to Kelly and I.. We sit down, and I realize I can't find my phone. I was sitting on it, but was ridiculously drunk out of my mind. So, Apple Guy says he'll hold it in his pocket for me. I hand it over and Kelly says that I jokingly said, "Don't look through it, dammit!" and laughed. I don't remember saying that. He disappears somewhere and I go watch the next band. I keep looking all around the small venue for him and he's nowhere to be found. I even walked out to the smoking area once, but no luck. He was gone over an hour, with my cash, ID, and my phone.

Finally, after the band finishes, I finally find him. Kelly and her husband decide to head home. I was still down to go somewhere else after. But, Apple Guy said he wanted to go home. I wasn't in any sort of shape to argue. He asks when we get close to his place, if I'm hungry. Oh, I forgot to mention all I'd eaten that day was a half chicken salad sandwich. That's all. Not smart, I know, so I was starving. We drive through Jack in the Box and get 6 tacos.

We get into his apartment, and I sit down at the island, which has bar stools. He gets a serious look on his face and says, "Ok we need to have a talk, and it's not going to be a good talk". I'm like alright.. He says, "Well, I went into that bathroom and I was peeing and I heard a phone in my pocket go off. I thought it was mine so I pulled it out and started reading the text message. I was not happy with what I found, and I admit I read back and saw that you've been talking for quite awhile." I'm sure I had a shocked look on my face. I have a pink case on my iphone by the way. No way he'd think it was his once he pulled it out, but that's beside the point. I asked him what texts he was talking about and who I was texting. He said he didn't remember the name. I start crying, because let's face it, I'm drunk, tired and emotional. He tells me that he thought we were close to being "together", which I must say, also shocked me.

He said that he was too hurt and he couldn't even imagine sleeping next to me. By then, it was about 1:30am and I was still nowhere close to sober. I ask him through streaming tears, "Do you want me to leave?", and he says, "Yeah, I think that would be best". At this point, my crying is uncontrollable, and he starts trying to get me to eat a taco, which I of course had no appetite. I get up to pee and come back crying even harder. I don't think he had any idea how upset I was going to be.

He comes over to hug me and tells me he didn't mean to make me cry and that I should stay and we can talk tomorrow. We change into pjs and watch a little tv on the couch silently, and finally decide to go to bed. No kiss goodnight, no cuddling, which suited me just fine. I wish I could remember more of what I said when he confronted me about it, but I was just too drunk. I know I apologized and told him that I liked him a lot, but that I had no idea that he was actually planning on having the "exclusive talk" the next day.

I woke up at 8am on Sunday, with an awful stomach ache. I'll spare you the details but I was in there 6-7 times. Weird thing, I was so light headed and felt like I was going to pass out. Eventually, I threw up twice too. Needless to say, we didn't end up talking about it before I left. And neither of us has texted since I left.

I texted Kelly that morning and told her about the situation, and she was totally on my side. The more I thought back, the more I realize, after I gave him my phone, that's when he disappeared for over an hour. I'm almost positive, he was literally looking through all of my text messages. Which, ok, maybe what I did wasn't right when I'm "talking" to someone, but for him to feel he has the right, when he's not even my boyfriend yet, to look through my private messages? I don't effing think so! He's a very flirty guy, so if I looked through his texts, pretty sure I'd find something that would hurt me as well.

And even worse, to have the conversation at 1am when I'm drunk, and then try to make me drive myself home? I don't know, that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I think we're both in the wrong, but what he did looks very psycho boyfriend to me. Last thing, we've literally been seeing each other a month, and he told me the first week we were hanging out, that calling someone his gf is a very big deal. He said he'll even date a girl for 3-4 months and she still may not be his gf. So, I in no way saw him as being ready to take that step with me this soon.

 Like I said, I hope this wasn't too hard to follow and all over the place, because my mind is just that. Plus, I've still been sick and light headed with fever, so we'll just blame it on that. Please let me know what you think! Even if it's bitching me out! Because I haven't gotten any objective opinions on it. Am I the one that's wrong? Is he? Or are we both? It may not even matter.. maybe we're done, I don't know. I can't bring myself to text him, but maybe I should.

Another small update! My sickness has pushed my weightloss to 21 pounds! There's one good thing that came from the weekend. I was 174 this morning. 

Please let me lose 9 more pounds by spring break! *Looks to the sky with pleading eyes*


5 comments:

  1. Wow! Looks like you had a hard weekend! Well I do think it was wrong of him to go through your texts when you guys aren't even together. I understand that you guys were exclusive yet so i totally get talking to other guys which I'm sure he's talked to other girls. Maybe you could have held back the inappropriate texts, but flirting is harmless. I guess the only thing best to do now is for both of you to sit down and talk about how you want to more forward: together or just friends. Also explain to him how you wouldn't be texting guys if you were in a relationship, tell him your side then hear his side then come up with a solution!

    Blah I sound like a shrink lol

    Well, I hope everything turns out alright and oh check out my blog there's something on it that I think you'll like :D

    Marja,
    xoxo

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    1. Girl, I was literally just making my way to your blog when you left this comment! Haha, Thank you sooooo much!!!

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  2. I would call him and ask if he would like to meet you to talk. I would let him no that you are sorry for what happened, but that he shouldn't have been looking through your text messages because you're not officially dating. I would also say, that since he said calling someone his girlfriend is a big deal, you had to keep your options open, in case things went wrong with him. Let him know how you truly feel, and make sure he knows you care about him. Guys are a lot more self-conscious and insecure than girls tend to be with relationships. Since he had mentioned he felt you were getting to the gf/bf status, it means he definitely like you and cares about you, a lot! And then let him tell you his side, and let him talk without saying anything at all till he's done. Afterwards, you'll know what to say and you'll know if you can fix things or not. You're not completely in the wrong, and neither is he, but you both played a part in what happened that night. Relationships are all about trust, which I still have a problem with myself and I've been with my boyfriend for a year. If the trust is broken, it's not the end of the world, you can get it back, especially if you weren't officially dating. Just talk to him. Everything happens for a reason, and if it's meant to be, it will all work out. Trust me, I thought it was the end of things for me at one point, but in the end, I got the boy. If your gut feeling tells you he's the one, or you're meant to be together, usually you are right. Listen to your gut feeling, not your head or your heart. That first instinct is always what is right.

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    1. Welcome, new follower! :) And thanks so much for the input!!

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  3. Guys aren't that stupid to think that someone else's cell phone is their cell phone. I recently caught my boyfriend going through all of my text messages, he said he was "curious" as who I was texting but then again his ex-girlfriend cheated on him so I think that has something to do with it...needless to say it was rude and you are single!

    Maybe you should text him and let him know how you felt about the whole situation...if you really think that he is worth it.

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